Chapter 13: 13: A Surplus of Strange Characters
Chapter 13: 13: A Surplus of Strange Characters
Stay calm. Chu Yunmian held her ground, watching Li Yaozu approach with a swagger that practically screamed 'arrogant young master.'
According to the standard laws of narrative progression, this was the moment her latent, world-shaking talent should awaken. She would deliver a crisp, resounding slap to Li Yaozu’s face, thrash his lackeys, and then—when his elders inevitably arrived to demand justice—her own father would step in to give the Crimson Sun Peak Master a proper drubbing. From there, the true sect-building arc would begin: she would trample the Dragon-Aotian protagonists, outshine the Feng-Aotian rivals, and lead her fellow disciples toward a life of luxury and effortless ascension. It was perfectly logical. Upon hearing the frantic gears turning in her mind, the System sounded genuinely baffled. “Why are you so well-versed in this?” It paused, then muttered, “And why does that sound so familiar to me as well?”
Nonsense. Had the System never heard of classic tropes? Chu Yunmian desperately wanted to flash a wicked, seductive smirk and drawl, “Little boy, you have already courted death.” Unfortunately, her physical vessel had its limitations. For someone cursed with a perpetually deadpan expression, pulling off a 'wicked smirk' was an anatomical impossibility. As her mind wandered into the weeds, Li Yaozu reached her. He had initially been dazzled by the girl’s breathtaking beauty, but upon seeing her dismissive, mocking gaze and icy demeanor, a surge of irritation flared within him. In reality, the 'dismissive mockery' was just Chu Yunmian spacing out, and the 'icy demeanor' was simply her resting stone-face. Had she known his internal monologue, she would have screamed at the injustice of it all. Instead, she watched as the human experience-pack accelerated his charge, only to catch his foot on a protruding stone just inches away from her. *Thud.* He hit the dirt face-first and stayed there. The Qingfeng Sword Sect disciples, who had stepped forward to protect their junior sister with her meager Fourth Level of Qi Refining, froze in confusion.
Chu Yunmian stared down at him. Was this a scam? Was Li Yaozu actually clever enough to stage a slip-and-fall? The lackeys were the first to break the silence. Seized with terror, they scrambled forward in a frantic flurry, wailing as if their own fathers had just bitten the dust. “Young Lord!” “Are you alright, Young Lord?” “Watch out for the Young Lord’s butt—er, posterior!”
Chu Yunmian remained silent, her head full of question marks. She instinctively glanced around, wondering if some hidden expert had tripped him. Then, a dazed, echoing voice resonated inside her mind: *Where am I? Young Lord? Is this... Tianshui Hall?* The voice was disoriented, fractured. *How is this possible? The only time I ever visited the Qingfeng Sword Sect was when I was sixteen. And wasn't I burned to death by that wretched woman Feng Xiwu’s Flame Luan? It hurts... my head! Ah... why does my backside hurt too?* Chu Yunmian stared with wide, deadpan eyes at the figure clutching his head on the floor. *Wait, what?* Li Yaozu was hauled to his feet by his lackeys, looking utterly lost. He gazed up at the bright blue sky, a single, dramatic tear spilling from his eye. *I have been reborn. I am back at the beginning, before it all went wrong. This time, I will take back everything that rightfully belongs to me.*
Chu Yunmian felt a headache forming. Li Yaozu turned his gaze toward her, his eyes shimmering with emotion. In this moment, she was no longer the insidious villain who had once shot arrows at his backside in his previous life; she was the goddess who had heralded his new destiny. *This must be the arrangement of fate itself,* his mind whispered. *Actually, not really,* Chu Yunmian thought. She watched as Li Yaozu wiped away his tears, turned, and offered a sincere, deep bow to the surrounding disciples. “My apologies. I was far too arrogant in the past. To the fellows of the Qingfeng Sword Sect I have offended or injured, I shall certainly make amends.”
The crowd was dumbstruck. “Huh?” Even his lackeys were reeling. “Y-Young Lord?” “Do not call me Young Lord,” Li Yaozu said with a serene, saintly smile. “We are all friends here. There is no need for such formalities.” The lackeys looked at each other in horror. “By the heavens! What manner of demonic entity has possessed our Young Lord?!”
Li Yaozu’s smile twitched. *Damn it, why isn't this working? If the Qingfeng Sword Sect weren't useful for my future plans, I wouldn't bother pandering to a bunch of nobodies like you! Feng Chenlie, Feng Xiwu—if you want someone to blame, blame yourselves for making an enemy of me! All of this shall become power for me to utilize! Heh-heh-heh!* Chu Yunmian watched his hyperactive internal monologue with a blank stare. One of the lackeys behind him suddenly drew a heavy wooden staff and, in one swift motion, knocked the cackling man completely unconscious. “Quick! Tie him up! Notify the Peak Master to return to the Profound Heaven Sect immediately! He’s lost his mind!” “Careful! Watch the posterior!”
Chu Yunmian watched them haul him away, her expression unreadable. She immediately turned tail and bolted back toward her master’s residence. Behind her, the murmurs of the disciples grew into a roar. “I’ve heard the Buddhist Sect has a technique called a 'Stern Rebuke' that can trigger instant enlightenment! To think our sect has a hidden master capable of such a thing! Though... the focus on the posterior is a bit hard to swallow.” “Which peak does that junior sister belong to?” someone asked. “She looks familiar,” another replied hesitantly. “But she’s a recluse. Wait... look at the jade pendant at her waist. That’s Sect Master Chu’s daughter, Chu Yunmian.” The first disciple gasped. “Could it be that she’s been practicing a Vow of Silence all these years to hone her divine sense?”
The rumors swelled, but Chu Yunmian didn't hear them. She nearly tripped over her own feet in her haste to escape. *I wasn't practicing a vow, I was just genuinely slow!* Back at Master Qi’s residence, she fell into deep contemplation. Shui Ling’er had been body-swapped. Li Yaozu had been reincarnated. Finally, a spark of enlightenment struck her. Her 'cheat code' wasn't a cultivation talent—it was mind-reading! Vibrating with excitement, she leaped into the air, rushed to the lotus pond, and snatched the large white goose by its neck. She stared intently into its beady eyes. The goose flailed its wings in desperation, trying to snap at her, but it froze when it saw the terrifying focus in her gaze. Man and bird stared at each other in a heavy silence.
When Master Qi emerged from his house, he was greeted by this bizarre tableau. “What are you doing?” he asked, bewildered. Chu Yunmian slowly loosened her grip. *It doesn't work on animals,* she realized. The goose retched, feeling as though its last meal had been shoved back down its throat, and waddled away to eat lotus seeds in peace. Chu Yunmian then sprinted over to Master Qi, picking up the Yin-Yang Nested Cauldron from the table and staring at him with predatory intensity. *Read his mind! Read his mind!* Master Qi felt a shiver run down his spine. “You...” He cleared his throat. “If you are tired of archery, you may take a break. If you wish to learn alchemy, that is also acceptable.” He produced a stack of jade slips nearly as tall as she was. “These are the pill recipes. Once you have memorized them—” *Clack.* Chu Yunmian dropped the cauldron back onto the table and immediately pulled out her book of 'Cultivation Tips' instead. Master Qi sighed. “You truly have no appetite for real study, do you?”